well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
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Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
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You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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