what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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