Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
