Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
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I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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