jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
