my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
