Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize