I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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