dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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