Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
