I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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