WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
