you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
