i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish you could order shots online.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
