the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize