Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
