i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
