there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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