blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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