Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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