I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
