Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
