So drunk its hurt
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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