I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
