This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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