Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
