wat bout pragnant strippers??
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
