Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
