3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
