did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
