Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
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The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
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We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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