i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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