Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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