I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
