this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
