is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
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Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
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I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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