guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
