I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
