Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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