i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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