is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
