So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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