Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
