piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
