yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
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Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize