Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
