He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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