D3 body, D1 cock
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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