No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
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Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
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I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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