Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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