It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
