Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
