I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
