You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
