And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
