hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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