It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
