wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
