His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
