hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
