The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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