I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
