Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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